“Eat pickles. Wear clean underwear. Marry a doctor.” Such is the slogan of Bubbies Pickles.
Oh, if only it were that simple Bubbie! Although, I’ve met a good number of doctors who have as much husband potential as a handkerchief. But, I’ve yet to meet a Bubbies’ pickle that didn’t show a gal a great time. So, two outta three ain’t bad, yeah? I mean, the clean underwear is a given, right? If you don’t know to wear clean unders, then don’t even consider marriage – doctor or not.
Bubbies, a San Francisco based company run by John and Kathy Gray, has garnered a very loyal following coast to coast. It’s probably because their pickles are made out of unicorn tears – as I can not logically contemplate any other ingredient that gives Bubbies that signature ohmygodthisisthebestpickleiveeverhad taste.
Now, Louise and I bicker about which is the better Bubbies. She insists their Pure Kosher Dills, which “are naturally crunchy just like the “pickle barrel” pickles so many folks remember from their childhood,” are the best. Swimming in a naturally fermented and cured cloudy brine, made without the use of vinegar or preservatives, I don’t deny that the Dills are downright delightful, but it’s the Bread and Butter Chips that leave me love struck.
They are sweet. Oh my God they are sweet. But they’re pickles. So they’re not too sweet. They’re still quite pickley, in fact. And the crunch. Oy! The crunch!
I’ve never been a huge pickle chower downer – I mean, I’ve always liked the things, who doesn’t like pickles? People on death row, that’s who doesn’t like pickles. If you don’t like pickles, consider prison as a glimpse into your future. But Bubbies aren’t just pickles. They are made from only the highest quality and freshest ingredients. They are made by a very passionate team of pickle makers and pickle lovers to package a peck of pickled…wait, holy shit, now I’m just trying alliterate the hell out of this sentence. Do over: Bubbies pickle makers love what they do and it shows.
The Gray’s branded their bottles with sweet Bubbie as the image evoked what the product is all about. “Natural, old-world, bringing back the good feelings we had about our families and the home-cooked, wholesome experiences with something that tastes unique, refreshing and distinctive.” Seems like a lot of thought to put into a simple pickle, but just snack on a
whole jar handful and you’ll see what the fuss is all about.
I know I’m given to bouts of extreme exaggeration but I, quite literally, no, like for real literally – not the ‘literally’ that swarms of young girls incorrectly pepper throughout their conversations – have downed an entire bottle of bread and butters in one sitting. They are so very addicting and happen to go with everything. Including more pickles. I couldn’t even possibly dream of a snack or sandwich without them.
If you are a pickle lover, I beg you to give these a taste and tell me
how right I am your opinion. Not a pickle lover? Same thing – just a bite and Bubbies’ll blow your mind. Bubbies makes a slew of other products – horseradish, sauerkraut, mustard – but I wouldn’t even be able to get any of that into my mouth as I’m far too busy stuffing pickles in it. I will say, I’ve heard people will fistfight in the streets over the sauerkraut – it’s supposedly THAT GOOD.
If you live in the San Francisco area, puh-leeeease keep your eyes open for the Bubbiemobile. This green machine carries merchandise to their Bay Area pickle-brokers – but if you wave ‘em down, there’s a very good chance they will reward you with a tasty treat.
If you don’t live in SF, and you probably don’t, you know where you can stock up on these beauties. Yeah you do.